Insecure Writer's Support Group

It's true, I have been feeling insecure lately.

Before going on holiday I submitted quite a few stories and came back to find that none of them had been accepted.

I then got up, brushed myself down and started writing some more only to have them rejected for various reasons (mostly to do with having received a lot of stories on that subject already etc).  Although it wasn't a direct dig at my ability, I still felt stupid for not noticing (I have been reading the mags for over a year so should be pretty 'up' on what's being covered!)

Determined not to give up, I have written some more and - finally- had one accepted today.  So, to be honest I'm not feeling as insecure as I was yesterday, but still...

I've got this novel to start.  The enormity of it is what's stopping me, I think.  I've had some great advice about just tackling a chapter at a time, which I intend to take, but I'm so afraid my story will peter-out and I'll be left feeling as though I didn't think it through and have written a load of mindless rubbish.

I'm not saying that's what I'm going to write, but my fear is that I will feel like that about it!  While it's just here in my head it's a lovely, atmospheric story... on paper it may be hollow trash.

I wouldn't normally wallow in defeat before I've even tried, but as this is the day for writing the Insecure Writer's Support Group blog, I feel it's ok!

Glad to have got all that off my chest, anyway!

Feeling the Flow!

~After a summer of having a head full of clouds, I'm starting to see the light again!
I'm pretty sure I've sent poor Clare at Woman's Weekly some fairly uninteresting and contrived stories during my 'cloud' period, so I won't be surprised or disappointed when they ping back to me.  The good news for me is that my mind has been freed from the clouds - strangely enough with a very low dose of HRT!  If I'd realised what the problem was, I'd have gone and sorted it out months ago!

So, my brain is once again as active as my fingers.  In fact, it's so active that I actually remembered that I have a blog and should put something on it once in a while!

While I'm here, can I please apologise to anyone who's left me comments that I haven't replied to?  Most of the time Blogger won't let me comment on my blog - I don't know why, but if anyone else does, please let me know!  Apparently I haven't got the right sort of account...???  So I message people where I can find a way to or try and comment on their blog if it will let me! 

I'm currently writing one last long-short story before settling down to write the first draft of my novel.  I'm hatching some plot ideas and character traits while I wait and think, so I'm not just putting it off, honest! 

Thanks for visiting!

Contemplating that first draft...

I have the idea, I have some characters (and am expecting a few more!), I have the location... but I don't seem to have the rocket under me to make a start!

I think the problem is that I've been writing short stories for over a year now (and have had 5 published in Woman's Weekly) (she says smugly) and there's a part of me (my ego) that can't let go of that desire to get more published.  Having had a few rejected over the summer, I'm finding it really hard to admit that maybe I've run out of original ideas for now and should admit temporary defeat and start on the novel.  I keep thinking "Just one more..." 

A novel is also terrifyingly long and I have a tendency to get bored quickly... However, I don't want to be limited to writing only short stories, especially as the market seems to be shrinking and becoming so much more competitive.

I'm a great believer in things happening when the time is right.  I guess the time isn't right tonight, but it might be right tomorrow night or next week.  I'll let you know when the rocket takes off!

Hope you're all happy and well.  Thanks for stopping by! :-)

Time to get serious!

Well, having come back from my holiday with an idea for a novel and a determination to have written the first draft before I go back to Zakynthos next year, I've decided to knock the short stories on the head for now (unless one is bursting to be told) and dedicate the next few months to the novel.

I must admit to feeling a bit daunted - I have only a moderate amount of faith in my staying-power.  Having the attention span of a flea, I tend to get bored before I ever get to finish a first draft, hence my predilection for writing short stories.

Having attempted the 80K in 80 Days challenge this year and having observed other writers' progress with said challenge, I think I have a much better idea of how to write a first draft now than I did before.

Watch this space!

Feeling the Love

I am so so happy to have received this award from Jenny at Fulfilling Dreams.  Thank you, Jenny for being an extremely supportive fellow writer!

The Liebster Award (meaning “friend” in German) is meant to connect us even more and spotlight new bloggers who have less than 200 followers – but hopefully not for long. The rules are:

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the Internet – other writers.
5. And best of all – have fun and spread the karma! 

It's going to be hard to pick 5 fellow bloggers - especially as I'm new to blogging and don't have that many contacts at the moment! I think everyone's got more followers than me!

But... 

(Jenny, I'd send it back to you if I could...)

Catherine at Plume Dansante who was chatty, involved and supportive during MYWYN gets the award first of all from me.

Now I will have to go and look for some fellow bloggers who need the love and followers! 

Jenny, you made my day!

15/08/11 AND A BIG THANK YOU TOO, TO Annalisa Crawford at Wake up, Eat, Write, Sleep who has also given me the Liebster Award!  :-)

Oh POO! And some GOOD STUFF too!

Back from two wonderful weeks in Zakynthos to find three short story rejections in my inbox.  That's the POO part, by the way.  I admit to feeling a little deflated, but to be honest I was half expecting two of them to come pinging back at me and I think I'm getting a little more inured to rejection now.  Easier to cope with if it's tempered with a touch of occasional success (I have a story in Woman's Weekly this week) but still a bit of a kick for the old self-belief!

On the GOOD STUFF side, I have a new idea for a novel - inspired by my holiday - and lots of notes and photos and am feeling fairly excited (and daunted) about getting that started.  Should be able to get a fair bit done over the summer holidays as long as the MIL isn't too much of a drain on my time and emotions (think leech crossed with a deflated balloon and you're about there).  Shouldn't be too hard on her, I suppose, but she refuses to go out and find herself something to pass the time and just relies on us to pay visits and sit staring at the wall while she complains.  Not the stuff most inducive to feeling creative!  And, yes, she will end up in a novel sooner or later. 

If anyone reads this, I hope you're having a good summer so far!  Thanks for stopping by!

Waiting for the Writing Juices to Flow...

One night away in a hotel (for my husband's birthday) and after weeks of a head jammed full of life and day-job the story ideas are creeping in again - hooray!
I was beginning to wonder if my imagination had packed up and retreated into the back of my skull to hide from everything pressing in on it - I wouldn't have blamed it at all - but, no, it still seems to be there.  I have already packed my pad and pen to take on holiday with me in anticipation of my poor brain making up for lost time and  spouting plots and characters at me once everything else has receded and been replaced with huge decisions like which cocktail to choose.  Bliss!
The trouble is, my husband and friends keep asking me when I'm going to finish/write my novel and the answer seems to be that there's not much chance of being able to do it while I'm working full time.  I'm afraid that for me to write anything other than short stories, life needs to be less frenetic - and I don't see that happening!  At least I get the school holidays off, which I know is more than many of my writer friends have.  It will just have to be written in drips and drabs and I'll be about 70 when I finally get it finished... :-)
Have a good few weeks, everyone - no more from me until August now!