Writing my blog entry for the Insecure Writer's Support Group last Wednesday got me thinking.
My insecure moan was about sometimes wishing I'd never started writing because it's stressful fitting it into a busy life, but is impossible to stop once you've started.
Having spent a week feeling horribly stressed about not having enough time to do any writing, I have decided to stop beating myself up.
My ambition, just over a year ago, was to get a short story published in a women's magazine.
Once my first story was accepted, I decided I'd aim to have three published. Once the third was accepted, I decided six was a good number...
Writing short stories is great! Although at least two thirds of what I submit is sent back to me with a polite rejection message, I'm having some success and have now had seven accepted, all in the space of a year. I AM SO THRILLED WITH THIS!
People keep telling me I should write a novel and then follow that up by asking me how I'm getting on with it. I've tried several times to get started on one, but I find the thought of taking on a long project that I can only write in drips and drabs without a guarantee that I'll even have time to write every day (I have a day job and a family, after all!) really stressful. Some people can do it but I can't; it's just the way I am!
I felt horribly jealous when NaNoWriMo started - I felt so resentful that I had to go to work when what I really wanted to do was sit home with the phone unplugged and WRITE WRITE WRITE!
I've arrived at the decision to forget the novel for now. I have ideas - many - and they are all safely stored in notepads and on my memory stick. They will keep and will, I hope, mature like a fine wine or a rich fruit cake.
I am not putting myself under pressure any more. I absolutely love writing and have no intention of stopping, but I am going to keep writing stories. This fits in with my life as it is now. In the future I have no doubt this will change. When the time is right, I will do it - but because I WANT TO and MUST, not because I'm feeling I should.
Sorry to waffle on... I'm just so relieved to have tidied up my head and made a decision!